What Is My Portion?
What is my portion?
My portion here in this life is: injuries, bad health, depression, persecution, lonliness, rejection, isolation, being unknown, unpopularity, low income, no great accomplishments or status, a broken heart, many enemies, crushed dreams, all according to worldly ideas and standards… But, my portion in physical earthly death is eternity in Heaven with the God of the Universe…
“LORD, You are my portion
and my cup of blessing;
You hold my future.” Psalm 16:5
It will all be worth it to live for Christ and suffer for Him, because when I die I gain exactly Him. Once the Bible becomes known to the soul a person is reborn and no longer can live the way he once did or do the things he once did. When he sins, it is an internal struggle of pain until he is once set back straight. A constant battle in this life is between the spirit and the flesh. The Christian spirit constantly seeks God, yet the strength of the flesh is so powerful it pulls the person back in, back and fourth. Temptation comes many times, and goes away when Satan is rejected. Yet that Ancient Serpent never relents…
“Who do I have in heaven but You?
And I desire nothing on earth but You.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart,
my portion forever.
Those far from You will certainly perish;
You destroy all who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, God’s presence is my good.
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
so I can tell about all You do.” Psalm 73:25-28
Nothing is owed to me or you, and our life is not guarunteed. God will take us when He does. He allows what comes to come. It is all in His plan and sometimes, is mysterious, and we have no clue why we go through what we do. It comforts me to know that no matter what, I cannot lose Him and it is all worth it to live as nothing but a lowly, humble servant of Christ…For that is my portion in life…To be just that: a lowly, humble, servant of Jesus Christ with nothing to boast about in himself. Only of God can I boast. I am nothing…He is everything and it is Him alone who makes me special (but not special in the eyes of men). I am made special in His sight alone through the blood that washed away my filth and imputed righteousness onto me. He is my “beautiful inheritance” (Psalm 16:6).
I long for You…because You alone are God. There is no God but You. You are good and holy. Lord give me strength to live only for You despite the temptation to seek worldly recognition which is often confused with important respect. Give me energy and use my weaknesses for strengths so that I can live for nothing else but the gospel of Your Son, Jesus Christ crucified, to be known among people. Use me to live for nothing else but to make this message known. Make it the same for me as you revealed to King Solomon; that no knowledge of the world is important, but seeking You. For the king said,
“There is no end to the making of many books, and much study wearies the body. When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity. For God will bring every act to judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil.”
There is so much I wanted in life on earth and it has all been taken away from me for Your good purpose. Continue giving me strong faith to keep going, and to keep spreading the knowledge of Your Word to the people I come across without fear…there is nothing else to live for. Nothing else is important. Give me what I need to help me do this.
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18